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INBOX YoRHa No.9 Type S

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( CODED BY BOOTYCALL | Used with permission from A2BRUTUS )

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

_{[It's true they never had a chance before now to properly get to know each other, but bit by bit, day by day, they get to come to know one another better. It's an opportunity that he cherishes above all else, the fact he can grow closer to his fellow YoRHa units, despite what this place wants from them.

The creatures waddling on screen are most certainly birds and they are absolutely adorable. It's half the reason why 9S has found himself unable to change the channel. They're just...really precious, and their struggle to survive such a harsh and unforgiving world resonates with him.]}

It's called March of the Penguins. Those birds there are called penguins. They're flightless birds that live in the arctic. They mate for life and have incredibly difficult lives but they still seem to persevere as a species.

[A world where 9S can live and learn without having to die for it. A world where 2B actually smiles sometimes. Are a few awkward sexual encounters a month such a price to pay for that chance? ... We'll ask her when they get back from Fort Harmony.
But anyway.

6O takes a few moments to get comfy, tucking herself into her corner of the couch with her knees up and her bare feet on the cushion. On the screen, the birds huddle together against the cold, and she rubs her own arms in sympathy.]

Living things are tough... they keep hanging on, even though the Earth goes through so much.

_{[Living things, huh? He can't help but idly wonder if, to 6O, they fall under that category. Sure they weren't organic lifeforms but they were still alive in their own right.]}

The Earth is tough, period. Mother Nature's cruel but sure knows how to persevere.

_{[The same could be said of them, he thinks, letting his gaze trail back to the screen for a moment. The little chicks look so helpless and cold...]}

There's still a lot to learn from both I think.

It's crazy how long ago the people here are from, isn't it? We're the outlier. [The Earth perseveres, androids and war with it.] Makes you wonder... how many of the plants and animals they have here didn't make it.

[Look at the little guys, waddling along. It doesn't seem like something so awkward, so weak-looking, should survive in the frozen desolation around them, but they never stop trying. 6O blinks, and realizes tears are prickling at the corners of her eyes.]

Haha... but they all do their best.

_{[It's definitely something he's wondered about himself, especially when he had first been dispatched to the surface. Units that were deployed had to be mindful of the flora and fauna, had to preserve what structures still were left standing. They weren't supposed to interfere as the Earth wasn't for them. They may have been the only humanoid living beings back then but they still didn't belong.]}

Survival of the fittest huh...

_{[It's a principle all life adheres to.]}

Their best is all they can do.

_{[It's all he can do...and it feels like it's never enough.]}

Edited 2019-01-30 15:53 (UTC)

[She sniffles and wipes her eyes. Okay... okay, she's good now, it looks like that's all the crying she was going to do for the moment. Something about the look on 9S's face bugs her, though. She shifts around to face him, sitting on her legs now instead of hugging them to her chest, and offers her hand.]

Hey, Nines?

[This is a nickname kind of moment.]

Need to talk about it?

_{[It may be a Nickname kind of moment but rarely if ever is he indulged when he needs it most. Her using his nickname has him pausing, staring at her hand with wide, blue eyes.

Need to talk about it?

When has anyone ever outright asked him if he needed to talk about what he was feeling? Usually it just spills out of him if he's not stopped and he's left a rambling mess of emotions and high strung anxieties. He swallows even though he doesn't need to, taking the hand he's offered gingerly, rubbing a bare thumb over it.]}

I mean...yeah, I guess so? But I don't think you want to hear any of it.

[She left her boots and gloves off but her veil on and it occurs to her that maybe that's a little silly, a weird barrier to keep considering what she'd planned to ask of him and the rare intimacy of bare-skin contact. Maybe she should take it off soon. At any rate it doesn't hide the way she smiles like a benevolent sun, all the light and warmth without the blinding.]

I'm a big girl. I can handle it.

[Her voice softens, along with her expression.]

Bottling things up never did any of us any good, believe me.

_{[Oh he knows from personal experience it doesn't do anyone any good. Her hand is given a small squeeze as his gaze drops to it. Suddenly he feels uncomfortably light and heavy at the same time. Should he really...just go for it?]}

It's just...I try my best but I feel like it's never good enough or what's expected or wanted of me. _[Swallow.] I've been making the same mistakes over and over and over again and I never seem to learn from them or am kept alive long enough to. I guess...I feel a bit like those penguins sometimes, y'know? Trapped in a cold, unforgiving world, with only the comfort of those who are like me to keep me alive but even then sometimes it's not enough and-

_{[Yeah he. He should definitely shut his mouth. So that's what he's going to do. What is he thinking? Saying this sort of stuff to 6O of all people?]}

Sorry.

["Or am kept alive long enough." He knew. Somehow, and she's really not sure she needs or wants to know how, he already knew. Of course he's hurting; who wouldn't? How can he stand it? Isn't she complicit in her own way, for watching it happen so many times and always keeping the secret? She can't tell him now. He'd hate her for it.]

Don't ap- [oh jeez she's getting choked up again] — apologize. You're not the one who needs to apologize. 9S...

[She looks down, shaking her head slowly. He deserves so much better, he always has, he and 2B, and whatever she can call a heart— her black box, she supposes— anyway, it hurts like a chill heavy weight settling into her chest.]

Hey...

[She reaches up and unfastens the veil, then drops it off the side of the sofa to deal with later. Bare-faced, she raises her head to look him in the eye.]

9S, c'mere.

[Leaning in, she puts her arm around him and pulls him in closer.]

I'm sorry.

Edited 2019-01-31 05:33 (UTC)

_{[He lets her pull him closer, reaching out to complete the embrace. She's tearing up and her cheeks are wet and there goes her veil and man does he feel guilty. Guilt is always an emotion that eats him, that comes in waves but never truly leaves. She says he doesn't have to apologize but he feels like he does. He's upset her and he didn't want that. He's completely sidelined whatever she wanted to ask him in the first place. This is his fault, like so many other things.

But it feels great to be held in her arms.

He may be guilty but he's also greedy and desperate, tucking his face into the crook of her neck. They may not be close but she's of his kin and kind. He trusts her and wants to protect her. 6O is important, just like 21O is.]}

You're not at fault. You don't have to apologize to me, 6O. You've only ever been nice to me.

_{[At the very least she's never invalidated his feelings so, y'know, in that regard she's leagues above the other androids in his life.]}

I don't want you to be upset for my sake.

[He can be as greedy as he wants right now. If all she can give is her ear and her arms and her time, they're his to take, because they're nothing compared to the price he's paid over and over and over again. 6O holds him tight and close, rubbing his back in small soothing circles, and resists the urge to tell him don't be silly— she's crying with him, not because of him. There's a difference.

He speaks his guilt and she shakes her head again, synthetic tears dripping slowly into his hair.]

No... I kept secrets too.

[Maybe she can tell him. She has to tell him, even if he can't forgive her, because dammit, for once in his many short lives 9S deserves to talk to somebody and not have them hide things from him.

Except she can't. The words just die. Well... he's smart, he knows who she was assigned to, he'll surely put it together on his own.]

_{[He's put it all together by now and has a pretty full picture of how things played out. There's nothing that needs to be forgiven as far as he's concerned. 6O hasn't wronged him in any way. She's kept secrets because she had to, that was part of her job, just like 21O had. Knowing what he knows now he can only imagine how difficult it was for them up on the Bunker, having to watch everything unfold time and time again. He feels himself sagging against her, forehead still pressed into her shoulder. It's nice to be held and comforted, even if it is at her expense.]}

You had to.

[He's... not mad? He's not mad. He wouldn't still be letting her hold him if he were mad at her.

Given that, and an argument she can't refute because it's absolutely true, what's left to do but sit here and hold him while he needs it? It's the best way she can think of to say, You're good enough for me.

6O slumps a little on him as he sags against her. She keeps on rubbing his back without really realizing she's doing it, motions of comfort automatic as a reflex. Her eyes close, the flow of tears gradually stopping; she focuses on feeling instead of sight. He's warm and heavy in her arms and it's... nice. Despite the circumstances.

In the background, Morgan Freeman's calm voice narrates on.]

_{[No, he's not mad. He can't be mad, not at her. Sure, he's...hurt, but he's been hurt for a very long time now, hasn't he? Wounds are deep and have festered sure, but he's managed to put patches over them to be functional. That's what it's all about, after all, being functional and useful and keeping yourself busy.

It makes things bearable.

6O has no idea just how comforting she's being right now and truly he appreciates it. The way she rubs at his back has him slumping even further, letting out another little sigh of heated, vented air. His auditory center is registering the calming voice of the narrator but the words aren't being processed - it's just noise - but that's okay. Words at the moment feel meaningless.]}

[It was supposed to be a harmless movie about weird birds. How did they end up like this?]

[But in seriousness, she didn't realize quite what she was getting into when she asked, need to talk? If she had, she... would have done it anyway. She hurts, but she won't always, and perhaps pain shared with her will be pain lessened for him. At least now he can share it with somebody.

If YoRHa didn't want them to show emotion, they shouldn't have programmed them to have it in the first place.

Words are unnecessary. They did the words part already. Only cuddles now. She lets the slump proceed to its logical conclusion and lies back, gently pulling him along with her. Her legs tangle with his as she stretches them out into a more comfortable arrangement. Ah, that's better; she inhales deeply, cool air in, and sighs into his hair, hot air out.]

_{[She leans back and before he realizes it he's atop her, resting chest to chest, and for once he's not worried about crushing the person beneath him. She's soft and warm, just like he is, and the ghosting of breath that rushes over his scalp has him sighing in turn.

If YoRHa didn't want them to feel they shouldn't have given them the capacity to, it's true, but after having interfaced with Connor, 9S firmly believes that having emotions is an inevitability for androids. Even back in the early 21st century, ancient history for them, androids were seen as being deviant for developing emotions on their own.]}

Y'know... _{[He starts softly, cheek pressed against her chest.]} Penguins are flightless birds. It's weird, right? And yet they've managed to live without needing to fly. They broke away from what evolution dictated them to be and still manage to exist.

_{[Maybe they were the same, in a way. They didn't need wings to fly to be free.]}

[He's comfortable to hold, a warm solid weight pressing her into the sofa cushions, yet so soft. (Holding A2 would be a lot different, as much padding as time has stripped away from her metal frame. The thought flits through her circuits and she doesn't bother to chase it, because haha, like that would ever happen.) There's a slight uptick in her pulse; she's not sure if the warmth spreading through her originates internally or if it's the heat he gives off, but it doesn't matter. It's nice either way.]

They had nowhere to fly, so they learned to swim.

[It doesn't take a specialized unit to see the comparison he's making.]

I... I still worry about what's going on back home without us, but... I feel like we can be more here, you know? This is where we get to swim. [a slight, self-conscious giggle] Or something.

Edited (fixed some things) 2019-02-03 06:36 (UTC)

We don't have our actions dictated to us by Command, anyway...even if we're at the mercy of other powers at play here.

_{[At least they were human powers at play, and weren't they built to obey and fulfill their demands anyway?]}

We can be more than just what we were built to be, 6O.

[She gives a little hum of assent.]

We can be what we were built to be. Nobody's telling us that the way we're made is wrong— we can feel if we want to, we can have all these new experiences...

[They can fulfill their core purpose in a way that was impossible when the void of space separated them from the humanity they were made to serve. It's intimidating and exciting and... probably not what 9S was going for. But she'll hold the thought close for herself.

She's stopped rubbing his back, but she still kind of needs something to do with her hands. One arm encircles his waist; her other hand finds its way into his hair and she idly toys with the strands, combing through and twirling them around her fingers.]

_{[Everything she's saying to him is a relief, even if she's more or less just agreeing with him. To not have to fight for that sort of understanding and just have it come so easily...it feels great. He's soaking it up, much like how he's completely and utterly at ease laying atop her now. He'd be hard pressed to move now, especially when she's playing with his hair and has her arm around him.

He feels completely and utterly spoiled and he's so into it that it wouldn't matter who walks in on them like this...he can't bring himself to care.]}

Exactly... _{[His answer comes out as a lazy murmur, eyes closed.]} We can be ourselves.

[Maybe it's fitting that they found common ground so easily. What's the number 6 but 9 turned over, after all? ~~Nice.~~

He looks so much happier now than he did a few minutes ago. That thing she was going to ask him... She can't decide if this is the best time for it, now that they've made this connection, or the worst. Oh, but that reminds her-]

I was supposed to give you a message.

_{[He looks that way because he is. 6O has managed to pull him back from the brink of despair, and he finds himself lifting to look down at her at the mention of a message. It isn't much and he certainly isn't getting off her by any means, he'd just like to see her face as he pushes himself up with his elbows.]}

A message?

Uh-huh. Saturn wanted me to tell you that horses suck.

[There's the rising note of a question, and she looks nothing so much as confused. She never did get much of an explanation from the other girl.]

What?

_{[Talk about ruining the mood. There's a bit of a frown on his face before he's rolling his eyes. Seriously?]}

They don't suck. She's just afraid of them because they're big. I bet you'd like them, 6O. They seem like your type of animal.

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