[In a moment of extreme indulgence, she moves her hands forward and spreads her fingers so that hers slip between his, so that she can clasp their hands together on his shoulders in what she's aware is an odd way to hold hands but something she can explain away, justify to herself for now.

She so rarely gets to touch him without hurting him that moments like this are something she does with care, gentle and yet still somehow possessing, as though she wants to pull him in and not let him go.

But of course she doesn't. She just squeezes his hands, his shoulders, and decides that that was enough honesty for now.]

If you want to know certain things about my time here, I'll tell you. It would be easiest if you asked me directly what you want to know so I don't say anything you don't want to hear.